Well this news felt like a point blank shot to my chest by Ash's Boomstick. I had really hoped this was just a rumor or maybe a sick joke but apparently it's not. Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions and FilmDistrict are partnering with Ghost House Pictures to do a remake of the classic 1981 horror film The Evil Dead.
Filmed on a shoe string budget, the movie that launched Spiderman director Sam Raimi's career, starred B-movie star and current Burn Notice sidekick Sam, as lead hero Ash. When Ash and his friends discover the Necronomicon (Book of the Dead) while vacationing at a cabin in the woods, the group unleashes the deadites, ruthless demons who attack at will. The film consisted largely of claymation, animatronics, and a healthy dose of gore. It was heavy on camp, with some ridiculous dialogue and even stranger scenes. (Tree rape anyone? It's actually a comical scene and demented at the same time.)
When the film was actually released in the United States in April 1983 (a year and a half after it's premiere) initial reviews were harsh but it's gained quite the cult following over the years. It currently holds a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes with the consensus being that it "combines just the right amount of gore and humor" providing "an equal amount of thrills and laughs." Well known horror writer Stephen King called it "the most ferociously original horror film of the year" and it was actually selected by the American Film Institute as one of the top 100 horror films for its 100 Years...100 Thrills episode. It also spawned two sequels; 1987's Evil Dead 2 and 1992's Army of Darkness, countless video games, and even--yes--a stage musical. Pretty impressive resume for a film based largely on a guy destroying demons with a half arm half chainsaw limb.
Why dear God then would they remake this film??? It is completely unnecessary. I can understand doing maybe another sequel but a remake? Even though Raimi and Campbell will be producers, I predict this film will be an unmitigated disaster for two reasons:
1. There will be no Ash character in this movie. WTF? Ash was the main driving person behind the whole franchise. Without Ash there is no Evil Dead. Look I understand that any portrayal of Ash wouldn't be nearly as good as Bruce Campbell but if this is a straight remake how can you not have Ash? It's like cake with no frosting. They will probably eff this up even more and cast Taylor Lautner or Ashton Kutcher in the lead role. Pathetic.
2. The screenwriter is going to be Diablo Cody. Diablo-f**king Cody??!! Are you f**king kidding me? Listen I liked Juno but Jennifer's Body was god-awful. I just don't understand the choice at all. My only comparison would be if Adam Sandler penned a remake to Schindler's List. Again, pathetic.
Well for better or worse (probably worse) an Evil Dead remake is coming. It's a nightmare that not even the shotgun toting, chainsaw cutting, wisecracking Bruce Campbell can save us from.
SIDE NOTE--My favorite line from the Evil Dead movies is in Army of Darkness when Ash talks to Duke Henry:
Duke Henry: "I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples."
Ash: "Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you a'int leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit...and Jack left town."
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