Review: The Muppets

Plot: Times are rough for Kermit (Steve Whitmire) and his gang. Despite years of former success most of the Muppets have gone their own way. Fozzie (Eric Jacobson) is doing a show in Reno, Gonzo (Dave Goelz) has become a plumbing magnate, and Miss Piggy (Eric Jacobson) runs her own magazine in Paris.

When new Muppet Walter (Peter Linz) visits the Muppet Studios in L.A. with his brother Gary (Jason Segel) and Gary's girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams), he discovers a plot by oil tycoon Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to tear down the old Muppet Studios and drill for oil. With Kermit, Gary, and Mary at his side, Walter sets out to round up the Muppets, put on a show, and save the Muppet Studios.

Review: As a child I absolutely adored the Muppets. The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan still stand the test of time for me. The Muppet Show was hands down my favorite show when I was five years old. The jokes still hold up as Jim Henson and pals possessed the unique ability to produce jokes that were accessible to kids and adults. It's also the first television show that I remember being canceled and being truly upset about the cancelation.

Going into this film I didn't have high expectations but I was at least expecting the music numbers to be entertaining and the jokes to be funny. Rotten Tomatoes rates it with a 96% approval rating so how bad could it be?

While The Muppets is certainly not a terrible movie, it's extremely disappointing and definitely not deserving of the high praise it's received. Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller's script is mediocre at best with a cliched plot and an even more contrived ending. Granted as a 33 year old man I'm not the target audience, however I still thought some of the jokes would be accessible. Instead the audience is subjected to Fozzie in "fart shoes" and a new Muppet named Walter that rather than being fresh and invigorating, comes across as merely annoying. (You're a Muppet in a man's world struggling with identity issues we get it already!) Oh and his big contribution to the show? Whistling. Oy vey.

I'll admit that director James Bobin, who co-created the television show "Flight of the Conchords," does an admirable job with The Muppets. The pacing is spot on and he strikes a decent, though sometimes inconsistent, balance between child and adult jokes. The music numbers are well choreographed and I can definitely see him doing future children's movies. In fact if the box office is any indication, there will be an inevitable sequel and Bobin will undoubtedly be asked to return.

While the directing is solid, the acting in The Muppets is simply horrid. Jason Segal and Amy Adams are bland and Pollyanna-ish as Gary and Mary (get it?) respectively. I'm no cynic but their over-zealous, perpetually perky attitudes almost induced me to vomit. Chris Cooper is no better as the character of Tex Richman (again with the names??) as he epitomizes the term "stock character." The only thing missing was him twirling a fake mustache.

What really killed The Muppets for me was the music selection. While the original songs "Man or Muppet" and "Life's a Happy Song" demonstrate excellent choreography and strong vocal performances, they were also overly long and tedious. And for the life of me I can't understand why they had Chris Cooper do a rap to explain the reason he's destroying The Muppet Studios. It wasn't funny, it was groan worthy and unnecessary. The producers might as well have had Pitbull sing opera. But the creme del a crap, the ultimate moment where The Muppets lost me was when they set their clean up of the Muppet Studios to the tune of "We Built this City" by Jefferson Starship. If someone had given me a loaded shotgun at that point you wouldn't be reading this review right now.

Unfortunately not even the funny scene where The Swedish Chef uses a flamethrower on a disgusting fridge and yells "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" could redeem this movie for me. The Muppet movie was a major disappointment. It possess none of the charm of the original films and despite the fact that I've already been told by one friend I "have no soul" for disliking this movie, I stick by this review.

My rating: 3/10