Ex-stripper friends of Channing Tatum say he stole their story for "Magic Mike"

     You couldn't drag me to Channing Tatum's upcoming film Magic Mike with a bulldozer*, but my wife and her friends sure are anticipating director Steven Soderbergh's male stripper magnum opus.  The story is apparently based on Tatum's own semi-autobiographical time as a stripper before he made it in Hollywood.
     There's only one catch.  It's not Tatum's story. 
     Apparently the story of Mike is actually based on the real life events of Tatum's ex-stripping partners Thomas "Awesome" Austin (really???) and London Steele (again really???).  Steele and Austin are apparently very upset.  In an interview with "TMZ" Steele and Austin said they taught Tatum everything they knew about the male stripping business, and were surprised that Tatum didn't bother to consult them about accuracy. 
    To be fair Tatum did state that Mike's tale isn't his story but merely "a window into a world that I don't think very many people know a lot about."  I certainly don't and don't care to.
     However, I can understand Austin and Steele's point.  If you're going to rip off their story at least throw them a bone (ooo bad choice of words) and bring them in as consultants.  Drop some cash to the people who helped inspire the story.
      Magic Mike opens June 29th and stars Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Joe Manganiello, Alex Pettyfer, and Matt Bomer.

*If you agree to take your significant other to see this movie you are a relationship saint but you also need to relinquish all of your man cards.
    

Selena Gomez dispels rumors of her involvement in "50 Shades of Grey"

     E.L. James's novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" is blowing up the best sellers list right now, so it comes as no shock that the book is on the fast track to film production.  While rumors abound as to who will play the female lead Anastasia, Disney diva Selena Gomez will most definitely NOT be filling the role.
     Although the young actress recently appeared in the "Funny or Die" parody "Fifty Shades of Blue" Gomez states she has zero interest in playing the role.  Often referred to as "Twihard porno fan fiction," "Fifty Shades of Grey" contains very explicit sex involving S and M.  Despite the 19 year old's desire to shed her squeaky clean image (she just did a racy photoshoot in "Elle" magazine and there's a distinct lack of clothing in her upcoming film  Springbreakers) Gomez feels the role would be a little over the top.
     In a recent interview with MTV Gomez had the following to say about her possible involvement:

"I know I'm taking risks but I don't think I could do that...That would be a little too much for me."

    Obviously I haven't read the book but I'm surprised that Angelina Jolie hasn't campaigned more for this role.*

*Apparently Ian Somerholder of "The Vampire Diaries" is heavily pursing the lead male role of Christian.

    

Twilight reboot?? Guhh?

     I positively, absolutely, 100% loathe the Twilight franchise.  Not only are the movies atrocious but the source material comes from what I consider to be nothing more than jumped up fan-fiction.  I completely reject the idea that vampires sparkle in the sun, have no fangs, and are vegetarians.  No, no, and no.  Yet there is no accounting for taste as the franchise has made over $1 billion worldwide.  With all its commercial (if not critical) success you'd expect the last thing on any one's mind would be a reboot of the franchise.
     You'd be wrong. 
     According to the website "Bloody Disgusting" Lionsgate/Summit Entertainment is planning on continuing the Twilight saga.   Now whether that will be in the form of a reboot, a television spin off, or just more sequels, who's to know.  As much as I don't want to see this happen, it makes sense from a financial standpoint.  Twilight is a cash cow and as long as there are Twihards out there demanding more of Bella, Edward, and the rest of the assclowns, I'm sure the studios will be happy to oblige. 
     Of course Summit Entertainment co-chairman Rob Friedman was quick to quash any rumors telling "Deadline":

"We are not remaking Twilight.  We will happily support Stephanie Meyer (the author) if she decides to proceed in any way.  But this will be the last one unless that should change."

     Way to be definitive on that answer Bobby.
     Although I sincerely hope the studio puts a permanent stake in the heart of this franchise, I have no doubt that Twilight will rise from the grave in some manner.
    

Review: One for the Money

Plot:  Based on the best selling book by Janet Evanovich, One for the Money chronicles the exploits of Stephanie Plum (Katherine Heigl).  Recently divorced, drowning in debt, and strapped for cash Plum takes a job as a bail enforcement agent at her cousin Vinnie's (Patrick Fischler) bail bonds company.  Armed with no weapons, skills, or experience Plum's first assignment involves tracking down ex-cop and old flame Joe Morelli (Jason O'Mara).  However, when Stephanie discovers that Morelli's been set up it's up to her and fellow bounty hunter Ranger (Daniel Sunjata) to uncover the truth and clear Morelli's good name.

Review:  The dictionary defines the word "dreck" as "trash-especially inferior merchandise."  Dreck doesn't even scratch the surface of how shockingly bad One for the Money is.  Inferior merchandise?  I'd gladly ingest a cartload of week old Wal-Mart produce than watch this feces show again.
     Understandably, best selling novels that become movies often lose much in the translation.  One for the Money didn't even bother to bring an interpreter.  Shoddy direction, terrible acting, a vapid plot, excruciatingly ridiculous dialogue--this film has it all. 
     Director Julie Anne Robinson (The Last Song) approaches this film like a bad 80s crime drama/comedy on the Fox network, only less inspired.  The jokes fall flat, the action bores rather than thrills, and the pacing is choppier than a chef dicing celery on "Hell's Kitchen."  Lionsgate and Robinson should be ashamed of this abomination on every level.
     Not surprisingly, One for the Money falls victim to the "too many cooks in the kitchen" syndrome when it comes to the script.  Four screenwriters contributed to this turd of a film including Liz Brixius, Stacey Sherman, Karen Ray, and Karen McCullah Lutz.  Despite having multiple writers on the script, the four women couldn't formulate a cogent or interesting script.  And the dialogue?  I'm sure my friend Mike's daughter Jules could come up with dialogue exponentially better than what the writers came up with.  Oh did I mention she's four?  She's also probably got more intelligence than these four people combined.  There was actually a line (I'm not making this up) where Morelli says to Stephanie, "We're ancient history baby!  Like the pyramids!"  Open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger.
     It's also mind boggling to me how Katherine Heigl still has a career.  She may not after this movie.  Her New Jersey accent is ridiculous to the point of absurdity.  Every time she opened her mouth all I could think of was Mike Myers on "Saturday Night Live" when he played Linda Richmond on the skit "Coffee Talk."  Except his accent was better.  ("Katherine Heigl is neither an actress nor talented.  Discuss!") There was absolutely nothing likable about her character.  I felt no affinity, connection, or sympathy for Stephanie whatsoever.  And the "chemistry" between Heigl, O'Mara, and Sunjata?  I've seen 5th grade chemistry sets that generated more heat than these clowns.
     One for the Money made me think only one thing when the credits finally rolled.  "I want my money back."

My rating:  1/10

Blu Ray and DVD releases for this week

*Denotes Blu ray only
**Denotes DVD only

Releases for June 19:  Jeff, Who Lives at Home, Big Miracle, Wanderlust, Project X, A Bag of Hammers, Seeking Justice, Cat Run, And Everything is Going Fine, Gray's Anatomy, Empire of the Sun*, Blade*, Blade Trinity*, Newsies*, Evita*, Sister Act 1 and 2*, Wilfred Season 1, Louie Season 2, The Sarah Silverman Program**, Hey Dude season 3**, Tyler Perry's House of Pain Volume 9**

Ape writers swing over to dinosaur land

     Well just like the "Baywatch" movie resurfaced, Jurassic Park 4 has reemerged from the tar pits.
     According to "Deadline," Universal Pictures has hired Rise of the Planet of the Apes scribes Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver to write the script.  Steven Spielberg will also produce but not direct.
     Look I love dinosaurs and Jurassic Park stands to this day as one of my favorite films but do we really need a 4th installment?  Jurassic Park III was absolute garbage and it's been over ten years now since that film was even in theaters.  If Universal plans on making another Jurassic Park I hope it's a reboot.

JT to take on Baywatch movie?

     I thought the whole idea of  a"Baywatch" film (based on the popular 90s television show) was a complete joke when I first reported on it.  Since I hadn't heard anything in a while I'd figured it had sunk deeper than Yasmine Bleeth's career.  According to "Twitch" however Baywatch remains afloat--and not because of Pamela Anderson's breasts either.
     Paramount is swimming ahead with the project and now wants the ever popular Justin Timberlake to play the lead.  If Timberlake takes the part he'd play a "disgraced former Olympic swimmer who tries out of for the Baywatch crew."  Bring it on down to Speedoville?
     I have to admit I used to watch "Baywatch" when I was younger.  However, I was also 13 at the time with raging hormones.  I wasn't tuning in for the "story" or David Hasselhoff's acting ability*, I wanted to watch Pam Anderson's tits bounce as she ran along the beach.  THAT'S IT.  That's why I see little need for a film adaptation of "Baywatch."
     If Paramount does push ahead with this film they'd be foolish not to treat this is a straight comedy.  It worked for 21 Jumpstreet.  Any attempt to play this as a drama is doomed for a failure of double D sized proportions. 

*Hasselhoff and Anderson will have cameos in the film but not as their original characters.

Dumb an Dumber sequel's head falls off: Carrey pulls out of project

     Well this certainly sucks.
     ET Online just confirmed today that comedian/actor Jim Carrey has officially taken himself off of the the Dumb and Dumber 2 project.  Apparently, Carrey has become increasingly agitated in the last few weeks, claiming that New Line and Warner Bros. are not showing the appropriate amount of enthusiasm for the project.
     In other words they are dragging their asses on getting this thing off the ground.
     It probably goes without saying that I'm disappointed by this news.  I don't want to see a Dumb and Dumber sequel without Jim Carrey in it.  Moreover, I'd guess that if Jim Carrey isn't appearing Jeff Daniels probably won't bother either.  Consequently, there is no need for a Dumb and Dumber 2.
     My concern is that Warner Bros. and New Line in their infinite wisdom might decide to forge ahead on a sequel without either one of the lead characters.  I sincerely hope not.  The whole idea would be...well...do I really need to say it?
     On the other hand maybe Carrey's move is strategic.  Perhaps he saw that Warner Bros. and New Line weren't making any progress on the film so he pulled out to light a fire underneath their butts.  Hollywood lore is riddled with actors who've left roles and then come back.
     Hopefully Warner Bros and New Line will remove their collective heads from their asses and duct tape them back on to their necks.

Review: Drive

Plot:  Based on the novel by James Sallis, Drive follows the exploits of Driver (Ryan Gosling), a loner and stunt car man who moonlights as a getaway driver for heists.  Driver's one reprieve from his isolated existence is his relationship with married neighbor Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her son Benicio (Kaden Leos).  When Irene's husband Standard (Oscar Isaac) returns from prison, Driver decides to help Standard do one final job to permanently get him out of the criminal life.  However when the job goes bad Driver suddenly finds himself in the cross hairs of gangsters Nino (Ron Pearlman) and Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks).  Before long Driver realizes that it will take all of his considerable skills, including a penchant for violence, to keep himself and the ones he cares about alive.

Review:  I went into Drive with my curiosity seriously peaked.  Every review I'd read, every person I talked to who'd seen the movie all pointed to one conclusion:  Drive was the single most polarizing film of 2011.  People loved it or hated it.  There was no in-between.
     I fall into the "loved it" category.
     Drive is a brilliant film, artfully directed with a fantastic score and impressive acting performances.  Director Nicolas Winding Refn crafts a gripping tale reminiscent of 80s action films.  Drive stands out as a very neo-noir movie with many memorable slow motion and tracking shots that highlight various minutiae throughout the production.  Refn shoots the film in an almost surrealistic manner with the violent scenes so detailed that "graphic" doesn't even scratch the surface.  Heavy praise goes to cinematographer Newton Thomas Sigel who helped bring Refn's vision to life.
     What stands out about Drive (and is no doubt the impetus for its reception as a film) is how little dialogue there is in the movie.  Drive isn't really about talking.  It's about setting a mood and a tone that resonates.  Hossein Amini's screenplay is very bold in that aspect, in that it dares to be quiet.  In an industry that seems obsessed with filling every minute with noise, it's nice to see a film that succeeds in the silences. 
     I attribute Drive's overwhelming success to lead actor Ryan Gosling.  Often times you see a film and you can imagine inserting any movie star into a particular role.  Not so with Drive.  I can't imagine anyone in this role but Gosling.  He lends a stoicism and attitude to the role of Driver that I've rarely seen.  Very rarely can an actor set the tone of a scene merely through facial expressions but Gosling does that consistently throughout Drive.  His character sizzles with barely suppressed intensity.  Driver is a guy who doesn't say much because he doesn't have to.  You know where you stand at all times.  I couldn't watch Gosling and not think of Steve McQueen.  If there's ever a Steve McQueen biopic I can't imagine Gosling not being at the top of the list.
     Driver's relationship with Irene and Benicio is warm and believable.  Despite the lack of dialogue, Gosling and Mulligan convey a warmness if not necessarily a passion.  Mulligan excels at playing the put upon wife in need of help.  At the same time her character sometimes disappears in the shadow of Gosling.  I also thought her husband's name, Standard, was kind of ridiculous.  I know it's a movie called Drive, but come on.
     What additionally impressed me about Drive was the fantastic chemistry between Gosling and Brooks as Driver and Bernie.  From their initial introduction all the way to their final scenes, Brooks and Gosling light up the screen.  In fact whenever Brooks is in any scene you can cut the tension with a knife.  There's a malevolence about his character Bernie that lingers just beneath the surface.  He's a guy that'll commit violence but only because it's what he has to do not because he revels in it.  From this perspective the two characters are mirrors of each other.  Each does what he has to do, it's just that the two have different moral codes.  As much as I can't stand Albert Brooks (other than his contribution to "The Simpsons" I find him painfully unfunny) he was amazing in this film and absolutely got robbed of an Oscar nod.
     If you're looking for a multi-layered, well acted film that reminds you of the great 80s actions films you enjoy, Drive is right up your alley.

My rating:  9/10

"The Artist" actor Jean Dujardin to howl on Martin Scorcese's "The Wolf of Wall Street"

     Shooting begins this August on Martin Scorcese's film The Wolf of Wall Street, the fifth collaboration between Scorcese and Leonardo Dicaprio.  With Jonah Hill and Kyle Chandler already attached, the impressive cast list just got even better.
     "The Hollywood Reporter" states that Academy Award Jean Dujardin will throw his considerable acting talent into the mix.  Dujardin will play a money laundering Swiss banker named Jean-Jaques Hindali while DiCaprio will play the lead role of Jordan Belfort. 
     For those of you not familiar with the book here is a synopsis:

In the 1990s Jordan Belfort, former kingpin of the notorious investment firm Stratton Oakmont, became one of the most infamous names in American finance: a brilliant, conniving stock-chopper who led his merry mob on a wild ride out of the canyons of Wall Street and into a massive office on Long Island. Now, in this astounding and hilarious tell-all autobiography, Belfort narrates a story of greed, power, and excess no one could invent.

From the stormy relationship Belfort shared with his model-wife as they ran a madcap household that included two young children, a full-time staff of twenty-two, a pair of bodyguards, and hidden cameras everywhere—even as the SEC and FBI zeroed in on them—to the unbridled hedonism of his office life, here is the extraordinary story of an ordinary guy who went from hustling Italian ices at sixteen to making hundreds of millions. Until it all came crashing down…

     Sounds pretty sweet to me and this material is right up Scorcese's alley.  With "Sopranos" and "Boardwalk Empire" screenwriter Terrance Winter on board I expect this film to be all kinds of awesome.
     The Wolf of Wall Street is set to release some time in 2013

World War Z is lilting more than a drunken zombie

     Without a doubt Max Brooks' "novel" World War Z:  An Oral History of the Zombie War is one of the most fascinating reads I've experienced in the last decade.  It is so multi-faceted involving various political, economic, and cultural intrigue that I was blown away.  When I discovered the book was being made into a film I was immediately leery.  You see Brooks' novel isn't exactly a novel.  It's more a record (from a reporter's POV) of various parts of the war in different countries and the individual experiences of people on the front lines.  All in all it's a very different novel.  Furthermore, when I heard Brad Pitt was going to be in the lead role and that the movie was veering far off course of the book, I became even more disillusioned.
     And now this news.
     According to "The Hollywood Reporter" World War Z is messier than a zombie head--post shotgun blast.  The film (originally intended to be the first in a trilogy) was supposed to release this Christmas.  However, the studio decided that the film needed a massive script rewrite and brought Damon Lindelof in.  Consequently, there is going to be an additional 5 TO 7 WEEKS of reshoots this fall.  This is virtually unheard of, especially for a film that was by all rights in the can. 
     Moreover, director Marc Forster (hand picked by Pitt incidentally) has had a constant struggle with the visuals throughout filming, and apparently clashes between cinematographer Robert Richardson (Hugo) and visual effects supervisor John Nelson (Gladiator) have been epic.  Forster was also not permitted by the studio to bring in his own production team.  Also get this:  HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW THE ZOMBIES WOULD LOOK LIKE OR MOVE three weeks before the production.  Wow.  Just wow. 
     But like old rap group Onyx once wrote, wait it gets worse.
     There was apparently a "minor" incident where a Hungarian anti-terrorism unit raided an airport and confiscated 85 fully functional automatic assault rifles that were to be used in the film.  WTF was the studio thinking?  Have they ever heard of props?
     The phrase "hot mess" doesn't begin to describe this film.  With a budget already heading north of $170 million dollars, I could see this film being another John Carter box office flop.  Forget about a trilogy* I'm worried that this film will even release.
     World War Z's release date is scheduled for summer of 2013.  Hopefully.

*To paraphrase former Indianapolis Colts coach Jim Mora, "Trilogy?? Trilogy??  Are you kidding me?  You're talking about a trilogy?  I'm just wondering if we're going to release the first movie!  Trilogy??!!"

Will Smith dishes on possible I Am Legend sequel

     For those of you unaware, apparently there is a huge push right now for an I Am Legend *sequel.  I thought the 2007 film was mediocre at best and I really don't see a need for a sequel.  In any event I don't see how Will Smith could possibly be involved in this movie considering (spoiler alert!) he dies at the end of the film.**  Apparently Mr. Smith doesn't think so either as he told BBC news in a recent interview that he's not currently working on it but "If it's great I'm into it."  Yet in the next sentence he says he wouldn't reconsider being in the sequel.  Okay....so which one is it Mr. Smith?  And if he does work on the project would it be as a producer?  A consultant?  Would he make a cameo as the Fresh Prince?  Who knows.
     In a quasi-related story, Smith also told "Empire" magazine that he came really close to playing the lead role in Django Unchained, which eventually went to Jamie Foxx.***  However since he was in the middle of Men in Black 3 he turned down the role.  Really?  You turn down working with one of the most innovative directors in the last 20 years to do a sequel that no one was asking for?  Fail.
     I honestly believe that Will Smith is in fact a good actor.  His turns in Six Degrees of Separation, Ali, and The Pursuit of Happyness prove that he can act.  However, too often Smith**** picks films that are box office draws rather than quality dramatic movies.  And don't get me wrong I love Men in Black and Independence Day but they are never going to make the top 100 movies of all time.  My advice to Smith?  Take more risks.
     Men in Black 3 can currently be seen in theaters while Django Unchained releases Christmas Day.

*I wish someone would do the straight adaptation of Richard Matheson's original novel.  Not only is it fantastic but it also was the book that inspired Stephen King to become a novelist.
**There is an alternate ending on the DVD that is just awful.
***After watching the preview I could care less that Smith turned this role down.  Jamie Foxx looks freakin' amazing.  Not bad for a guy who has the movie Booty Call on his resume of films.
****I will never forgive Smith for allowing his son Jaden to be in a remake of The Karate Kid.  Never.

Catching Fire and Star Trek 2 to light up IMAX next year

     Personally I think 3D is gimmicky and a total joke.  Give me IMAX any day.
     According to "The Hollywood Reporter" and "Paramount" two of the most highly anticipated films of 2013, Catching Fire and Star Trek 2, will be shooting and beaming respectively into IMAX theaters next year.  The Star Trek sequel will also be in 3D (unfortunately) but no word on if Catching Fire will be as well.  Catching Fire director Francis Lawrence says that certain parts of the film will be shot specifically for IMAX.*  How much of the film will be in IMAX is yet to be seen, but typically the action sequences get the most focus.  Dialogue scenes tend to be standard.  (And why wouldn't they be?  Does anyone desperately need to see Katniss and Peeta in a heated argument on a full IMAX screen?)
     Star Trek 2** warps into theaters on May 17, 2013 while Catching Fire hits the theater target on November 22, 2013.

*Beyond pumped to see The Dark Knight Rises in IMAX.
**I highly doubt that the final title will be Star Trek 2.

Blu-Ray and DVD releases for June 12th

*Denotes only being released on DVD
**Denotes only being released on Blu-Ray

Here are the following DVD/Blu Rays being released on June 12th:

Sherlock Holmes:  Game of Shadows, Ghost Rider:  Spirit of Vengeance, In Darkness, Thin Ice, A Little Bit of Heaven, Too Big to Fail, Tyler Perry's Good Deeds, Father's Day**, Shallow Grave, Harold and Maude, The Gold Rush, The Lethal Weapon Collection**, As Good as it Gets**, Meatballs**, Red Scorpion**, Spiderman**, Spiderman 2**, Spiderman 3**, Entourage Season 8, Episodes Season 1*, Missing Season 1*, GCB Season 1*, Scandal Season 1*, Superman vs the Elite

From the "Who the hell wanted this movie to be made?" department, action/adventure script "Methuselah" to get a rewrite

     Before you ask, no that is not Methuselah.
     I have to say this project flew well below my radar.  Director James Watkins (The Woman in Black) recently finished the first draft of action adventure film Methuselah.  (I seriously can't believe I just wrote that sentence.)  Well the studio wasn't exactly thrilled with Watkins version* because according to "Variety" they just hired I Am Legend 2 scribe (yes apparently that movie is happening too) Arash Amel to come in and completely re-write the script.
     For those of you not up on your Bible studies, Methuselah was the grandfather of Noah and the oldest man ever recorded in the Bible.  The movie apparently revolves around the titular character and "follows a 1,000 year old man who has used his time on the planet to develop an unparalleled set of survival skills."
     Sigh.
     I just find it incomprehensible that any one in the public is demanding this movie.  And how is this an "action adventure" movie?  Are you telling me that Methuselah's cane turns into a bazooka?  Perhaps his wheelchair is actually a spaceship?  Maybe his beard can deflect bullets?  I don't know.  All I know is that this movie sounds ridiculous on so many levels I can't even list them all.  And I don't want to.
     Shooting begins after the flood and when the lead actor finishes his latest bowel movement.

*Maybe the studio didn't like the first draft because IT'S AN EFFING ACTION ADVENTURE MOVIE ABOUT METHUSELAH!!!!
    

Get ready for a surprise! Ethan Hawke is in the Total Recall remake

     The more I discover about the Total Recall remake, the more I want to see it.*  With the film less than two months away from release, producer Toby Jaffe revealed an interesting piece of information to "Collider" and "Screen Rant."
     Apparently, Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke (Training Day) not only is in the film (which I had no idea about until now) but he plays a major role.  And by major role I mean the main character.  Apparently the difference between this film and the 1990 original is not only has the main character's memory been wiped but his face has also been altered.  Ethan Hawke will play an earlier version of Douglas Quaid while Colin Farrell will play the main version of Douglas Quaid after the memory wipe and face change.
     Does that make sense to everyone?  No?  Well come August 3rd it will all make sense.  Hopefully.

*Very interested to see how well Bryan Cranston plays the role of villain Vilos Cohaagen.

Linsey Lohan to join porn star James Deen author Bret Easton Ellis's film "The Canyons"

     Don't get me wrong I love author Bret Easton Ellis.  "Less than Zero," "American Psycho," and "Rules of Attraction" are all fantastic books. Ellis is one the main influences behind the literary movement known as the "anti-novel."*
     Having said that sometimes I think he's certifiably nuts.
     Earlier this week he went on an 8 hour Twitter rant about how he wanted to direct the film adaptation of "50 Shades of Grey" and had a whole slew of actors he wanted to play for the main roles.
     Now comes the news again via Twitter (so of course it's accurate!) that next month his pet film project The Canyons will start filming.  For those of you unfamiliar with the project (like I was) here is a brief synopsis:

"Tara, formerly a model, now arm candy, is “beautiful and withdrawn.” She has spirit and intelligence but somewhere along the way she has sold her pride for the material comforts Christian can provide.  Christian is a handsome, fit, a power player and major manipulator. He lives off a trust fund which pays for a house on the beach and dabbles in such avocations as film producing. But mainly it pays for his hedonistic life style. Christian enjoys setting up three-ways and filming them. Yet, despite his philandering ways, he is possessive about his current live-in girlfriend, Tara."

     Anyone who has ever read Ellis's work knows that this kind of material is right up his alley.  Apparently the role of Tara will be played by convict--err--actress Lindsey Lohan.**  Ellis says Lohan "nailed" the role.  (And possibly other things.)  I'm not super shocked that Lohan would agree to this role only because her status in Hollywood has dipped so low.  Then again this could turn out to be a highly successful film, who knows.
     What I do know is that the role of Christian will be played by James Deen*** a....wait for it...well known male porn star!  You stay classy Bret Easton Ellis!
     Screenwriter Paul Schrader of Taxi Driver fame is set direct.  Shooting begins next month and there is no time table for a release date.  Signings for the movie poster however will be held at your local adult film store.  (Just kidding.)

*  American Psycho was the first book that I ever liked that I actually thought about not finishing because it was so disturbing.
**This picture of Lindsey Lohan was from several years ago.  I prefer to remember her as she was before she got all cracked out.
***I tried to find pictures for James Deen on Google but the results weren't exactly...um...appropriate.  I can say that he apparently has been in such gems as This A'int no Ghostbusters XXX and as Moe in Simpsons:  The XXX parody.  I repeat:  stay classy.

Villain in the House! Hugh Laurie may play the villain in the Robocop reboot

     With the recent cancellation of television the show "House," notable British actor Hugh Laurie certainly has some time on his hands.  Very soon he may dipping said hands into the Robocop reboot.
     According to "THR" Laurie is in negotiations to play the lead villain.  While there is no official name to the main antagonist, he's described as "the evil and ultra-rich CEO of Omnicorp, the company that makes Robocop."  While the description sounds a little one dimensional, I have no doubt that an actor of Laurie's caliber could flesh out the role.
     I have to say I wasn't terribly interested in a Robocop* remake until I started to see the number of actors attaching themselves to the project.  If Laurie hops on board he'll join actors Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, and Joel Kinnaman in the film.  That's a pretty impressive list of actors and while Jackson isn't exactly picky when it comes to roles, Oldman definitely is.  This tells me that director Jose Padilha's script and direction for the movie is better I thought it was.  Time will tell.
     Robocop begins filming later this year with a target release date of summer 2013.

* Robocop was actually the first R-rated film I ever saw.  The part that freaked me out the most was when the dude was melted by toxic waste towards the end of the movie.

Another day another Stephen King adaptation...

     Is a high end corporate exec stalking Stephen King or what?
     Not only is King's novel The Stand set to be made into a movie by Ben Affleck, a Pet Semetary reboot is in the works, Academy Award winning director Jonathan Demme (Silence of the Lambs) is making King's time-travel novel 11/22/63 into a film, King's short story The Ten O'Clock People was just optioned, The Dark Tower adaptation still has life, Showtime apparently wants Under the Dome to be a new televisions series, and now there is news of yet another Stephen King project.
     It's good to be the King.
     Stephen King's quintessential novel IT is set to finally make it's way to the big screen.  (The novel was adapted into a 1990 ABC Miniseries).  According to "Heat Vision" the film will be split into two and Cary Fukunaga (Jane Eyre) is set to direct.  Fukunaga will also co-write the screenplay with Chase Palmer, and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter novelist Seth Grahame-Smith will also be a producer.  I have to say I like this combination.
     It's high time IT got its turn on the big screen.  While I loved the original (the miniseries terrified me when I was a kid) the novel is just too tame for television.  My only concern is that it is more than likely the studios will not set the dual time frames in 1958 and 1985 as in the novel.  My guess is that it will be set in modern days with the childhood story aspect being set in the early 1980s.  Now let's just hope they get the casting right.

*Not many people remember that the part of Richie Tozier was played by Seth Green (of Family Guy and Robot Chicken fame) in the original miniseries.

Samuel and Abbie set to cyborg it up in reboot of Robocop

      Well one bad motherf**ker and one hot number are about to join the Robocop reboot according to "The Hollywood Reporter."  Abbie Cornish (Limitless, Sucker Punch) has been offered the role of Alex Murphy's wife in the upcoming film.  Cornish is little known for her movie work although her turn in Limitless was decent even if her role in Sucker Punch was abysmal.  Not sure how this part will catapult her into the limelight but hey a person's gotta eat.

     Samuel L. Jackson (pick a movie from the last 20 years) also joins the cast as Pat Novak, a media mogul who is a very influential character in the world of Robocop.  Makes me wonder if he's going to be like the Dick Jones of the new Robocop. 

     Filming is set to begin this September with an eye on a summer 2013 release date.



 

Farewell to a Legend: RIP Ray Bradbury

     It was with a heavy heart that I learned earlier this week that one of the great writers of the 20th century and one of the authors that influenced my interest in writing, Ray Bradbury, died at the age of 91.  Bradbury wrote some of the best speculative fiction ever, most notably Fahrenheit 451*, The Martian Chronicles, and my all-time favorite of his, Something Wicked this Way Comes**.
     I know that this is a movie blog however, several of Bradbury's works were made into feature films and television series.  Furthermore, Bradbury was actually nominated for an Academy Award for his screenplay adaptation of director John Huston's Moby Dick.
     As one of my writing inspirations, I'd like close this post with something that Bradbury wrote in 2005 about happiness, writing, and the relationship between the two:

"In my later years I have looked in the mirror each day and found a happy person staring back.  Occasionally I wonder why I can be so happy. The answer is that every day of my life I've worked only for myself and for the joy that comes from writing and creating. The image in my mirror is not optimistic, but the result of optimal behavior."

     Farewell Ray.

*Fahrenheit 451 has maybe the all time best line to open a novel:  "It was a pleasure to burn."
**The movie adaptation of Something Wicked this Way Comes starring Jason Robards and Jonathan Price is simply fantastic.

Django Unchained trailer is...well...off the chain!!!!

     Aside from the dreadful Jackie Brown I am a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino's films.  So when I heard that his next film was about a bounty hunting slave who seeks vengeance over the men who captured and sold his wife I was intrigued.  When I found out Jamie Foxx, Christof Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, and Leonardo DiCaprio were going to be in this film I said, "Um why am I not watching this right now??!!"
     Well if any of you went to see Prometheus the other night like I did, you were privileged to watch the first trailer for Tarantino's new film Django Unchained.  It was all kinds of awesome.  From the opening Johnny Cash music to Foxx's final reminder that "the 'D' is silent" there wasn't a thing I didn't love about this preview*.  I cannot wait for the holiday season for this film to hit theaters.
     In the meantime you'll just have to make due with the trailer like I did.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P5_E4ACAFM

     Django Unchained busts out Christmas Day.

*Favorite part in the trailer:  "How do you like the bounty hunting business?"  "You get to kill white folks and they pay you for it.  What's not to like?"

Review: Prometheus

Plot:  When archaeologists Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discover the same ancient pictogram across various civilizations, the two believe they may have found the secret to mankind's earliest beginnings.  After convincing the elderly business tycoon Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce) of their theory, he funds a massive space exploration to uncover the truth.  Accompanying Shaw and Holloway are various members of the Prometheus crew including Company lackey Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), Captain Janek (Idris Elba), and android David (Michael Fassbender).  Although Shaw believes she and the crew are embarking on the most significant journey in mankind's history, she soon uncovers that everyone has their own agenda and no one is who they appear to be.  Moreover, she finds that their search for humanity's origin may lead to its ultimate destruction.

Review:  Although Ridley Scott directed two of the most ground breaking science fiction films of all time (1979's Alien and 1982's Blade Runner), it took three decades for the acclaimed director to return to the genre he helped define.  Rumors flew about like agitated face-huggers even before Prometheus started filming.  Was this an Alien prequel?  Would audiences see a xenomorph in the film?  Could Scott strike gold three times?  With all these questions circling the production months before the release date, it's no wonder that Prometheus was the most hyped up film of the year...maybe even the decade.  And as a movie goer and a critic I find that it is a very VERY rare exception that a film this over-hyped lives up to the fanfare.
     Prometheus, thankfully, is one of those rare exceptions.
     Director Ridley Scott's third sojourn into the world of science fiction is a nearly flawless film.  Wide in scope and addressing one of the fundamental human questions, Prometheus proves to be a dynamic, well acted, visually stunning, and emotionally resonant film.  Furthermore, Prometheus boasts a tight script, a few spine wrenching scares, and a plot that captivates and tantalizes.
     If people go into Prometheus expecting a straight Alien prequel you will be sorely disappointed.  While there are certainly echos of the Alien films in Prometheus and it is set in the same universe as Alien, Prometheus stands on it's own merit as a distinct and separate film.  Fore example, whereas Alien's horrific moments often involved silence, Prometheus is saturated with a sweeping and terrific score by Marc Streitenfeld.  However, those of you who are fans of the Alien franchise will probably be pleased by the film's final image, although I found it to be unnecessary and slightly annoying.
     The great thing about Ridley Scott's directing is that he's always been able to create distinct and awe inspiring worlds.  Whether it was the dingy future punk of Blade Runner, or the Roman sands of Gladiator, or the Holy Crusades in Kingdom of Heaven, you can't help but be pulled in by the gravitational vortex of a Ridley Scott film.  The same thing holds true with Prometheus.
     Of course Ridley Scott's worlds would not exist without some of the special effects wizards behind him, and Prometheus has visual effects in spades.  Several companies including WETA Digital and Moving Picture Company help bring the world of Prometheus to life, and let me tell you it's some of the most seamless visual effects I've ever seen captured on film.  Bravo!
     Memorable science fiction storytelling always begins with a compelling and interesting plot, and Prometheus has that in abundance.  Screenwriters Damon Lindeloff (LOST) and Jon Spaihts deliver a script that manages to be part science fiction, part thriller, part mystery, and part existential discussion.  The two take a concept that's been around for years (could human life have been generated by extraterrestrial beings?) and flesh it out to the nth degree.  Rather than being some Tom-Cruise-jumping-on-couches Scientology derivative, Prometheus dares to ask the hard questions.  What if the human race has become more like their makers than they realize?  What if the Engineers (as they are referred to by Shaw and Holloway) are more alien than we could possibly imagine?  And maybe most terrifying of all, what would happen if the Engineers changed their minds about their creation?  Lindeloff and Spaihts' script was a home run that kept me intrigued from the opening credits to the final shot.
     No matter how good the script or how talented the director, a film lives and dies on the strength of its actors.  Thankfully Ridley Scott tends to surround himself with people of outstanding ability and Prometheus is no different.  Idris Elba is charming as the chicken fried southern Captain Janek, a man who believes mostly in the safety of his ship and crew rather than Shaw's mission.  There's more than a hint of Tom Skerrit's Captain Dallas from the original Alien but Elba is certainly no carbon copy.  Rapace and Marshall-Green play off each other well as archaeologists and lovers Shaw and Holloway.  Marshall-Green's character is slightly underdeveloped although the chemistry between he and Rapace was excellent.  Rapace's Shaw is definitely the heroine but not in the gritty Ellen Ripley variety of the Alien franchise.  There is definitely some vulnerability and a personal struggle with faith that sets her apart from Sigourney Weaver's character. 
     However, as good as the talented Ms. Rapace was in Prometheus, Michael Fassbender's portrayal of the android David far and away beats any android portrayal I've ever seen in television or film.  Although David is physically many times stronger than any human being and able to inculcate vast amounts of knowledge, he still approaches everything with child-like wonder.  Shots of David riding a scooter and playing basketball are just as significant as his research of ancient languages.  David even incorporates the speech patterns of Peter O'Toole from Lawrence of Arabia because it's his favorite film.  (What child hasn't imitated his boyhood idol at some point?)  Yet Fassbender's character is also without a firm moral compass, and it's the lack of that compass that causes David to perform some particularly diabolical acts.  A tip of the cap again to Mr. Fassbender, whose acting seems to get better with each passing film.
     Ironically the only character who came across as a little two dimensional was Charlize Theron's Meredith Vickers.  While the Academy Award winning actress was decent in the role, sometimes Vickers came across as a typical corporate stooge.  Her connection to another important crew member was also fairly obvious. 
     Prometheus is an astounding and triumphant return to the world of science fiction by director Ridley Scott.  Let's hope audiences don't have to wait another thirty years for the Englishman to bring us another installment.

My rating:  9.5/10
    
    
    

Justic League Movie lands "Gangster Squad" writer Will Beall

     With the huge success of The Avengers ($1 billion in revenue worldwide and counting) it probably comes as no shock that the DC universe wants to get in on the action.  The Avengers counterpart in the DC has always been the Justice League, consisting of superheroes Green Lantern, The Flash, Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, and Aquaman.  While a Justice League movie has been talked about for years, the box office smash that is The Avengers is probably just the impetus Warner Bros. needs to take the Justice League from theoretical concept to actual film.
     Apparently Warner Bros. agrees with me.  According to "Variety," Gangster Squad* scribe Will Beall will pen this nerdgasm of a film.  Beall is incredibly in demand right now having been commissioned to write Logan's Run and Lethal Weapon remakes. 
     I don't envy Mr. Beall's position however.  Studios and moviegoers will expect a Justice League film to be just as good if not better than The Avengers.  If his script fails to deliver the goods....well let's just say it is the kind of thing that can kill a promising Hollywood career.
     The real question is who will actually star in this movie.  Can Warner Bros. entice Christian Bale to return as Batman and will upcoming Man of Steel star Henry Cavill** join up as the last son of Krypton?  For that matter will Ryan Reynolds agree to be part of the film?  Moreover what about Wonderwoman, The Flash, and Aquaman?*** Do they get their own movies too?  There's a lot of questions to be answered here.
     At this point Warner Bros. will not confirm or deny the news about Beall.  In any event I wouldn't expect a Justice League movie in theaters anytime before 2015.

*Gangster Squad looks awesome.  Check out the trailer right here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc3Ab52uqM8
**Check out Henry Cavill in the television show "The Tudors" if you get a chance.  He's fantastic and the show is even better.
***Good God does anyone really want to see an Aquaman movie??? Talk about a lame superhero.

Review: The Avengers

Plot:  When Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) leads a band of alien creatures known as the Chitauri to Earth in order to obtain the Tesseract, the world seems to be at the demi-God's mercy.  Seemingly outmatched, S.H.I.E.L.D director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) decides to activate the "Avengers Initiative," a protocol designed to bring Thor, Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) together to fight this common enemy.  But when these superheroes' superegos collide, will they be able to put aside their differences in order to save Earth?

Review:  Director Joss Whedon had a difficult task when it came to The Avengers.  Creating a film with this many superheroes in it could have been a recipe for disaster.  Without the right group of people and the right person steering the ship, The Avengers could have been a titanic flop. 
     Thankfully it's not.
     While The Avengers is by no means the flawless film that other critics and moviegoers seem to think it is, the movie is still entertaining, action packed, funny, and well acted.  Whedon does an amazing job of intermixing the various superheroes throughout The Avengers.  The chemistry between all the actors is palpable.  In fact Whedon blends the characters together in such a seamless way that no one character overshadows another.  While Downey Jr.'s Iron Man gets the majority of the good lines (Downey referring to Thor as "Point Break" and "Shakespeare in the Park" was classic) I never once felt that one superhero was being short changed.
     Joss Whedon's screenplay however sometimes leaves a little to be desired, especially where the dialogue it concerned.  Often times the word play was a little strained and the banter between Captain America and Iron Man felt forced.  Additionally, there were some jokes that were borderline hammy, almost cringe worthy.  I do like how Whedon fleshes out the character of Bruce Banner/The Hulk in The Avengers.  Due in large part to Ruffalo's excellent performance, The Avengers shows a meek side to the character, something not seen before in previous incarnations.  The Hulk, and in particular Ruffalo's performance, is an integral part of The Avengers success.
     Without question the driving force behind The Avengers are its action set pieces.  There were no less than 2,200 visual effects shots in this film and fourteen different companies contributed, including Weta Digital and Industrial Light and Magic.  Scenes such as an early three way battle between Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man were simply stunning.  Credit also has to go to cinematographer Seamus McGarvey for balancing intimate dialogue scenes with panorama action shots.  I also particularly liked the representation of the stealth plane that the Avengers make their home on for the majority of the movie.  However, I thought that theyclimactic battle with Chitauri went on far too long and was somewhat reminiscent of the last Transformers film.
     As far as popcorn movies go though you could do a lot worse than this film.  The Avengers kicks off the summer movie season like a rocket missle from Iron Man himself.

My rating:  8/10

    

Will MacGruber rip throats in a sequel?

     I'll be honest I thought that MacGruber was actually a pretty funny movie.  I think Will Forte is a very underrated comedian and pairing him alongside Ryan Phillippe was great.  For God's sake the movie started out with people singing, "MacGruber--we made a fucking movie!"  Hilarious.
     Well anyone hoping to see a MacGruber sequel will have to wait.  Although according to Will Forte there is at least going to be a MacGruber 2 script.  Forte told "CraveOnline" that the likelihood of writing a MacGruber sequel in the next six months is close to 100% but whether it gets made all depends on money.
     The budget on the original film was $10 million dollars and it almost made it back domestically, so financially it's not out of the realm of possibility.  I could definitely see them scaling down the budget to get the film made.  If Forte and company can provide the same amount of laughs in the sequel as they did in the first film*, I'm all for it.  And as for money, if the studios can cough up the cash to make garbage like Piranha 3DD, I'd hope they could find some bucks for a MacGruber sequel.

*Funniest part in the first film is easily the sounds Will Forte makes when MacGruber is having sex.

George Lucas to retire....5th Indiana Jones in trouble?

     Good news?  Bad news?  I guess it all depends on your feelings about the man.
     According to "Deadline" and "Empire," director, producer, and writer George Lucas has decided to call it a career--at least as far as Lucasfilm is concerned.  While he will remain as a co-chairman and CEO, he will no longer be involved in the day to day operations of the company.  Instead Kathleen Kennedy will be named co-chair and oversee the STAR WARS empire. 
     In a public statement Lucas had the following to say about his retirement:

"I'm moving away from the company, I'm moving away from all my businesses, I'm finishing all my obligations and I'm going to retire to my garage with my saw and hammer and build hobby movies. I've always wanted to make movies that were more experimental in nature, and not have to worry about them showing in movie theatres."

     Ok.....
     I'm kind of unsure exactly what he means by "hobby movies" and "experimental in nature."  Are these movies that nobody will actually see?  Will they only be uploaded to YouTube?  Will he kill off Jar Jar Binks in said home movies?  And how large exactly is his garage do you suppose?  I'm thinking it's probably at least twice the size of the loading dock on the Death Star.  His saw and  hammer are probably also diamond encrusted and baptized in Wookie blood.
     But I digress.
     Personally, I like the move by Lucas.  God knows he has enough money and if he wants to spend his golden years making "experimental" movies, I say via con Dios.  I'm just wondering if he will be able to stay away.  Is this a real retirement or a Brett Favre-esque retirement?  We'll see.
     I know Lucas has been lambasted over the last decade or so for what fans consider constant tinkering with his films and an obsession with money.  There is some credence to these arguments although I land somewhere in the middle.  My thought process is that without George Lucas there would be no Star Wars and no Indiana Jones.  I shudder at the thought.  Plus the guy did kind of issue in the modern day blockbuster.  In that sense he's kind of the Steve Jobs of the movie world...and just as influential.
     My only concern is where does the Indiana Jones franchise go from here?  Does Lucas's retirement sound the death knell of our favorite adventuring archaeologist?  Possibly.  At the same time maybe if he steps away it will give some new blood a chance to flesh out a cool new script, one that Indy fans everywhere can enjoy.  But if Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the last adventure, well, I guess I'll get over it.*

*I ordered the Indiana Jones blu-ray box set two months ago and there is still no official release date.  I'm getting annoyed. 

Holy Run Time Batman!!!!

     For those of you who thought that The Dark Knight was too long (I was not one of them) and were hoping Christopher Nolan's final installment would be shorter, prepare to be disappointed.
     According to "Collider" AMC theaters has announced that The Dark Knight Rises run time will be 2 hours and 45 minutes.  Now bear in mind that this is a listed run time.  There's still about six weeks before the actual release date of the film and most directors tinker and edit right up until the picture is about to launch.  The run could time could be cut.
     Personally I don't have a problem with this.  For true movie lovers out there you know that if the movie is great, run time is insignificant.  My former professor and national move critic Jack Garner had a great quote in class one one time that summed this up.  He said "I've seen some three hour films that lasted five minutes and some eighty minute films that lasted five years."  Well put.
     In addition AMC theaters announced that starting June 11th at noon, they will be selling tickets for a "Dark Knight marathon" on July 19th so that fans can watch all three films consecutively.  I can already hear Batman fans' backs and legs groaning in agony.  If I thought for one moment that my body could take sitting down that long I'd absolutely do it.
     The Dark Knight Rises swoops into theaters July 20th.

DVD/Blu-Ray releases for June 4th

*indicates blu ray only
**indicates dvd only

Safe House, Machine Gun Preacher, John Carter, Journey 2, Act of Valor, Declaration of War**, Bad Ass, Breaking Bad season 4, Burn Notice season 5**, Curb your Enthusiasm season 8**, Falling Skies season 1, In Plain Sight season 4**, Pawn Stars volume 4**, Pretty Little Liars season 2**, White Collar season 3**

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    

     Hey everybody!  I know it's been awhile but I've been in some intensive training at work over the last couple weeks so I've kind of been slacking in my movie news and reviews.
     But no more!
     With the summer movie season upon us it's time to get on track again.  So keep a sharp eye out.  The movie news and reviews will be coming fast and furious. 
     Thanks for your patience guys and it's good to be back!