Friday, October 26, 2012

By Crom! AH-HULD is back for another Conan movie


     The former governator is really filling up his time table with projects.  First he made an appearance in The Expendables 2, he's got The Last Stand and The Tomb coming out next year and is currently filming director David Ayer's DEA thriller Ten.  Well crank up your Cult of Set flags and sing praises to the Four Winds because things just got interesting.
     "Deadline" reports that Mr. Schwarzenegger will reprise the iconic role that made him a star as Conan the Barbarian in the film The Legend of Conan.  Universal Studios and Paradox Entertainment will be backing the movie with longtime Conan fan Chris Morgan producing the film.  The film will obviously ignore the latest Jason Momoa re-boot, however in a bit of a strange move the film will be a direct Conan the Barbarian sequel and disregard the events of Conan the Destroyer*.  Morgan felt Destroyer was too campy and wants to get back to the Robert E. Howard** roots of  the Conan mythology.  The film will account for Arnold's age and pick up at the same point in Conan's life.  Morgan states, "Think of this as Conan's Unforgiven."  Without the gritty voice and talking to empty chairs of course.
     If all goes according to the will of Crom, The Legend of Conan is set to hit theaters in summer 2014.

*One of my favorite fantasy authors of all time, Robert Jordan, wrote the movie novelization of Destroyer and some excellent other original Conan novels to boot.
**Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan, said that the "real" Conan used to stand behind him in the dark at night making him write Conan's tale until the sun came up, lest Conan slay him.  Not surprisingly Howard was also a paranoid schizophrenic who killed himself.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Blu Ray and DVD releases for the week of October 1st!

*Blu Ray only
**DVD only

Here are your Blu Ray and DVD releases for Tuesday October 2nd:

Dark Shadows, Cinderella*, Classic Monsters*, People Like Us, Red Lights, Peace and Love and Misunderstanding, In the Mood for Love*, Pete's Dragon, Pet Semetary*, Annie*, The Princess Bride*, Masters of the Universe*, House (series)**, How I Met Your Mother (season 7)**, New Girl**, Magic City (season 1), 90210 (season 4)**, Downton Abbey (season 1 and 2)

Dark Knight anthology and Extended Edition for "The Hobbit: There and Back Again" to hit late next year


   
     Damn you Hollywood!  It's like you know I have a sick obsession with collecting movies.
     In a move that apparently wants to drain me of my bank account, Warner Bros. just announced that they will be releasing an ultimate Dark Knight anthology and an extended edition of The Hobbit: There and Back Again. 
     According to "Movies.com" The Dark Knight Trilogy Ultimate Collector's Edition will drop in the third quarter next year.  An extended edition of The Hobbit is also slated for the fourth quarter, just in time for the second edition in the trilogy.
     Can't say I'm surprised by these moves.  Leave it to the movie industry to squeeze every cent out of the public.  In any case while I won't be purchasing the Dark Knight edition I most certainly will be getting the extended cut of the The Hobbit.  Provided of course my wife doesn't kill me first.

Hungry Hungry Hippos now in the works as a movie

 
                                      "WHY GOD WHY???!!!"
 
 
 
    
     I wish this was a joke.  I really do.
     In a move that indicates there is no hope for humanity, the L.A. Times just announced that Hasboro has optioned Hungry Hungry Hippos, Monopoly, and Action Man into movies.
     Allow a moment for that to sink in.
     Monopoly is apparently first on the docket as Hasboro aims at getting production rolling sometime next year.  While at one time there was a Monopoly skit bandied about Hollywood (Ridley Scott was attached at one time if you can believe that) I was hoping that the movie would not pass go and go directly to movie jail.  Permanently.  Unfortunately it was not to be.
     In a somewhat silver lining to this turd cloud, Hungry Hungry Hippos will be an animated film aimed at children and presumably stoners.  To be honest though what else could it really have been?  A 1940s film noir where hippo detectives have to hunt down the tiger that killed Mowgli? 
     What's shocks me the most is that Hasboro would pursue either of these films after the colossal flop that was Battleship.  I'd like to think the movie executives know something I don't but I highly doubt it.
 


Yippe Ki-Yay Motherf***er!!! Die Hard 5 teaser trailer explodes online



     Although I'm a huge fan of the original, I can't say I'm particularly excited for the fifth, and hopefully last edition to the Die Hard franchise.  I mean come on, a quarter of a century later and John McClane (Bruce Willis) is still doing this?  I guess he's "not to old for this shit" after all.
     To spice things up a little the fifth movie, entitled A Good Day to Die Hard, goes global as McClane finds himself in Russia pursuing his estranged son while trying to eliminate a terrorist group.  A NYC cop taking on international terrorists?  Makes perfect sense to me.
     Having said all this, the teaser trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvYgGPCHXfk actually looks pretty good.  Don't think I'll be checking it out when it first releases but it might be worth a trip to the dollar theater.
     A Good Day to Die Hard blasts its way into theaters on Valentine's Day* next year.

*Good luck convincing your significant other to go to this movie on February 14th.

Alllllriighttt!!! Seth Macfarlane to host 85th Oscars



     Well this is unexpected.
     Rat pack crooner and "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane has been tapped to host the 85th annual Academy Awards next February.  Without question this is a move by television to grab the younger demographic, as viewership for the award show seems to go down each passing year.  Telecast producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron feel "his performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh." 
     There's no doubt MacFarlane has talent.  "Family Guy" is a bonfide hit and Ted was one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time.  Plus the guy can sing like nobody's business.  In that sense he's kind of like Hugh Jackman.  Except with more toilet humor and dick jokes.
     I have to say I love the pick.  It's great that the Academy is willing to take risks and MacFarlane is certainly a risk.  Who knows?  If he's successful maybe the Academy will let Zack Galifianakis host one day.
     The Oscars ceremony lands February 24th.



Review: Trouble with the Curve


Plot:  Gus Lobel (Clint Eastwood) is the most celebrated baseball scout in Atlanta Braves history, responsible for the signing of noted players like Tom Glavine and Chipper Jones.  An old school scout, Gus shuns modern sabermetrics, computers, and the "interweb" relying only on what he can see and hear.  While hearing isn't the problem (he can tell by the crack of the bat if it's a fastball or a curve) his sight is quickly going.  With three months left to go on his contract, and Braves brass executive Tom Silver (Matthew Lillard) pushing to oust Gus, Lobel's last chance at redemption comes via Bo Gentry, (Joe Massingill) a top notch high school prospect that Atlanta is looking to getting their hands on.  To help with his eyesight problem, Gus' best friend Pete (John Goodman) enlists the help of Gus' estranged daughter Mickey (Amy Adams) to be Lobel's eyes.  On the trip the two meet up with one of Gus's old prospects Johnny (Justin Timberlake) now working for the Red Sox.  Together the three embark on a journey of self discovery that demonstrates that in life as in baseball, sometimes we all have trouble with the curve.

Review:  If the last line of my plot description sounds hokey and trite, it's because it's meant to.  It's a fitting representation of Trouble with the Curve, a tepid, mildly entertaining film that contains strong acting performances but suffers from a predictable and cumbersome plot.
     Trouble with the Curve marks the first movie Clint Eastwood's starred in since 1993's  In the Line of Fire that he didn't direct, and his first acting performance since the overrated Gran Torino.  Longtime partner Robert Lorenz directs Curve in a formulaic manner that relies on the audience's ability to accept a run of the mill sports drama.  Although I must admit Lorenz gets the most out of actors Eastwood and Adams.  Their interactions are the best part of the movie and elevates the estranged father and daughter motif into something palpable and believable.
     Unfortunately the same can't be said for the rest of the movie.  There are just too many plot holes and contrived moments in Randy Brown's bland and predictable script.  Being a baseball fan I don't understand how any scout could think Bo Gentry (Massingil) is the "next Albert Pujols" and a "five tool player."  It just doesn't jibe when the guy you get to play the role possesses the physique of an older Chunk from The Goonies who is just losing his baby fat.  Massingill plays Gentry as an obnoxious, self entitled brat which, although it makes sense, leaves little room for depth.  Additionally, the Latino peanut seller with a golden arm who shows up at the end of the film you could see coming from centerfield.  Also how is it possible that the Red Sox would send their least experienced scout (Timberlake) to scout someone who's projected to be the number one pick?  Furthermore, how does that translate into the pontential broadcast booth job that Johnny wants?
     Speaking of Timberlake, I thought that the budding romance between he and Adams was one of the weakest parts of the film.  The chemistry was hit or miss and I felt at times that Timberlake seemed miscast.  Plus the inevitability of Mickey and Johnny getting together (Mickey and Johnny God that sounds like a bad love ballad) at the end of the film weighted down the romance. 
     As for Eastwood, I sincerely hope he stays with directing from now on.  Although his performance was solid (like I said the byplay between him and Adams was fantastic) ole Clint has become a one trick pony in his later years.  By that I mean he's got the crotchety old man thing down but that's about it.  Don't get me wrong the crotchety old man routine was hilarious and several moments made me burst out laughing, which of course was intentional.  However, if he's not going to stretch himself as an actor anymore he should probably remain behind the camera.  Or talk to empty chairs.  Whichever.
     At the end of the day Trouble with the Curve, while at times entertaining, manages to be nothing more than a predictable, run of the mill sports drama.

My rating:  6/10